The Town Journal, February 11, 2015

Janis Joplin, Cory Monteith, River Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman, all entertainers who gained widespread success but met the same end – a drug overdose. And they are no different than the everyday person when it comes to drug addiction.

It matters not if a user is a famous actor or a teen going through the motions: Heroin sees no race, age, gender, socioeconomic background or any other defining factor.

And that’s what Northern Highlands freshman Stephanie Reifman was hoping to get across in her H.A.P.P.Y. (Heroin Addiction Prevents People’s Years) Week Program on Feb. 4. She invited a recovering heroin addict and a parent who lost a son to a heroin overdose to share their stories of loss, recovery and hope for the future.

Reifman shared that in Bergen County alone, there were 25 fatal heroin overdoses in 2013; a year later that statistic doubled and continues to rise due to the widespread availability and cheapness of heroin.

This drug derived from morphine, an opiate that acts on pain receptors and the pleasure sections of the brain, resulting in feelings of euphoria. It can be injected and snorted.  However, the addictive nature of it is so strong that users very quickly become dependent on the drug and in many cases its disuse, even within a few hours, results in withdrawal effects, including vomiting, muscle and bone pain, shaking and kicking, among others.

“The face of addiction we’re learning as time goes on really is unknown to many,” Northern Highlands Asst. Principal Mike Koth said. “It could be anyone.”

Emily’s story

Emily, from Spring House, a halfway house for women recovering from alcohol and drug abuse, started drinking and smoking marijuana in eighth grade at the age of 13. Her older brother was already into drugs and her curiosity led her to try every drug until she took heroin and it took her to a place she thought she would never escape.

The drug became her life and she would do anything to get it – of she didn’t get a fix every day, her body would go into withdrawal. Soon she was in and out of rehab and sent to jail for stealing and robbing houses.

Her family tried to help but in the end it was Emily who needed to want to help Emil.

“I believe an addict will stop when they want to, you need to want to be sober from within, it can’t come from others,” she said.

Sitting in a jail cell, the realization that her life was not what she imagined it would be convinced her to seek help at the Bergen Regional and later Spring House in Paramus. She explained that there were a lot of factors that led to her addiction.

“I was a follower type, not a leader,” she said. “I thought that if I followed them I would’t have to worry about why I felt like I didn’t belong.”

She explained that there was always a feeling that something was “off” and she was always searching for a happiness she couldn’t find.

“I felt like everyone else seemed to have gotten this guideline to life that I just didn’t get,” she said.

While there might have been contributing factors, like alcoholism and bipolar disorder in the family, she believes that much of it was about her insecurities.

Since April, Emily is sober. Now she can find happiness in the simple things. But the daily meetings and support system are a huge part of that. She said addicts who want to recover need other like-minded addicts for support.

“Meetings are a grounding place for me,” she said. “It’s like my medication.”

Emily recommended that parents push their children to do what makes them uncomfortable so that they can feel more empowered – even if they are initially resentful. She also said finding a true interest could help prevent that pull toward drugs. Parents should also not engage in co-dependent behavior – cutting her off from money and other forms of support  forced Emily to face her situation.

“I needed to be completely cut off to realize how bad things had really gotten,” she said.

And while it’s very hard for her parents, she believes they did everything they could.

“I was unwilling to listen, I thought I knew everything,” she said. “I thought the bad things were the cool things to do.”

But through it all, she learned that the best advice is to stay true to who you are and not to follow the crowd.

Don’s story

Don shared his story of pain and loss after his son Jason died from a heroin overdose.

“Life was stressful, frustrating and frightening,” he said.

Jason had a lot of rage inside of him in trying to follow in his older sister’s successful footsteps, he said. From a young age Jason had disadvantages that contributing to his feelings of inadequacy – starting in the second grade he was diagnosed with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder and later obsessive compulsive disorder. Because he had very visible rituals, he had social issues with his peers and his self-esteem “plummeted,” his father said. Though he got therapy, Jason’s conditions were severe enough that he needed medication.

Don said that though the family noticed Jason sleeping a lot, they attributed it to his medication or depression. But that changed one morning when Don’s wife could’t wake Jason and emergency personnel had to be called to stabilize him – his breathing was shallow and his lips had a bluish tint. That’s when a police officer discovered heroin packets in Jason’s room. Don and his family couldn’t believe it, but once they faced that reality, they were sure it was a wake-up call for Jason.

“Maybe we got lucky; for sure he’ll never try that again,” Don remembers telling his wife.

But soon it got worse. Jason lost interest in everything he loved: golf, football, movies. While the family isn’t sure how the heroin addiction got started, addictions weren’t new. Jason, having compulsive behavior tendencies, always had some kind of addiction such as compulsive eating and gambling.

Don believes that the real problems started after pain pills were prescribed to Jason after weight loss surgery and heroin was just the next step.

“I didn’t think there was a link to pain medication,” he said.

Don said had he known he would have cleaned out his medicine cabinet of any potentially addictive drugs.

Eventually Jason was sent to a rehab center in Texas for 30 days. And while Jason came home feeling revived, it was short-lived.

Don pointed out a photo of a smiling Jason from a projected screen in the high school auditorium. Twelve hours after that picture was taken, Jason was dead due to a heroin overdose.

“This is not a disease that has any logic to it,” he said. “The only explanation is that the drug takes over.”

He knows he couldn’t have changed the outcome, “Yet you relive every decision,” he said.

Don said the speaking engagements, supportive friends and programs have been very helpful, in response to questions from the audience.

“We share our stories and our kids sound the same – it’s the same story,” he said.

But he said that Emily’s story should be one of hope that addicts can recover.

“My story is one of reality,” he said. “It’s a reality check on Emily’s story.”

 

Read the full article in the Town Journal